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  • 12:40 – Заявление главы ЛНР Леонида Пасечника 
  • 17:41 – Заявление главы ЛНР Леонида Пасечника 
  • 17:39 – ОСТОРОЖНО, МОШЕННИКИ! 
  • 17:37 – Более 3,5 тыс. заявлений поступило от желающих пройти обучение в Народной милиции ЛНР 

Анекдоты

Международная следственная группа установила, что отпечатки пальцев с «Бука», сбившего «Боинг», принадлежат отравителю
Скрипалей, царапавшему пробирки на Олимпиаде в Сочи.

* * *
— Бесит фейсконтроль на входе! Если по тебе видно, что ты не оставишь тут кучу бабла, то не пускают!
— Да и не ходи ты эти на родительские собрания.

* * *

— Теперь у меня безлимит!
— Поздравляю!
— Сломался счётчик воды. Пришёл сантехник и снял его на неделю, в ремонт. — Скачаешь мне два ведра горячей воды, пока халява?

* * *

Надпись на лючке бензобака: «Дура, у нас дизель!»

* * *
— Дорогой, с чем ты можешь меня сравнить?
— С бурной рекой.
— Красиво! И куда я впадаю?
— В истерику.

* * *

Задумалась — это не когда проехала свою остановку, а когда притащила с собой на работу пакет с мусором.

* * *

Психиатр: Обобщите одним словом — рыба, сосиски, пельмени.
Пациент: Водоплавающие!

* * *

Отец случайно проглотил флешку. Теперь его в семье так и называют — папка с файлами.

* * *

Лайфхак: Если вы будете каждый месяц откладывать понемногу, то уже через год удивитесь, как мало накопилось…скачать dle 11.3
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